Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
