I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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