Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
