plz talk dirty to me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
