did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
