we're chasing vodka with high fives
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
