So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so explain again why im purple
no
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
