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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.

  Fav 16 5249 878

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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• (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (817): View more from Texas

  It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

  Fav 7 831 1465

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff

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