cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.