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• (206): View more from Washington

  I will die if light touches me.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (619): View more from California

  I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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• (415): View more from California

  apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window

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• (386): View more from Florida

  being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (626): View more from California

  You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"

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• (916): View more from California

  Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.

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