I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
