i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
