I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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