ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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