No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
