Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
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I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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