"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
