im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize