So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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