Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
