I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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