Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
