Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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