You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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