i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
