we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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