she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
