i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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