quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
