we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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