my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My vagina is very pro this idea
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
