fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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