i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
