the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
not ubering you a puppy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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