I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
