There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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