the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
