This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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