I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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