you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
