her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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