Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
