after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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