im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.