Where is the hickey?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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