The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!