Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.