listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
