You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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