ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
