You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
