you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
