I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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