I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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