if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We're too hungover to prance.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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