: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Randomize
