I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
