wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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