If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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