Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
