Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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