so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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