I hate all girls vehemently.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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