I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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