i barfeds in our rink
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
