I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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