I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
